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1). Yesterday’s Wives; Welcome my husband, hope the office was not stressful. Your favorite food is ready, let me lead you to the bathroom first, then you take your dinner. You look so tired, am sure you’ll be okay after taking your dinner, welcome my one and only.

Today’s Wives: Please don’t put unnecessary pressure on me, you can go to the fridge pick up the stew, microwave it and boiled the remaining rice, i am your wife and not your cook.

Today’s Wives
Today’s Wives

2). Yesterday’s Wives: Darling stop thinking about our lack of money. Its going to be temporary. God will see us through and we are going to come out of it stronger. After all, we can still feed ourselves and the children. We need to give the Almighty that glory. I am with you through thick and thin, my husband, the owner of my dowry.

Today’s Wives: Look I am sick and tired of living in this abject poverty with you. Why did you bring me to your house when you know that you are not ready for marriage?Every day is one complaint or the other. Are you the complainant general of Nigeria. We don’t have cars, our house is in Tudunwada, when your mates are in GRA. Look if you don’t find solutions to your problems, you will come back and not find me in this your rotten house.

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3). Yesterday’s Wives: My husband, we only have 3 children, don’t you think we should have more. You know children are gifts and mercies from God. And the more the merrier.

Today’s Wives: Look, I am sick and tired of this marriage. You won’t allow me to rest by your constant urge to have more children. I am okay with our two children. I can’t allow you to spoil my figure 8 by bearing another 4 children. You are so wicked that I feel you want to spoil my psychedelic looks. If you dare force me,I will sue you for rape.

4). Yesterday’s Wives: My husband, take heart and don’t worry. I shall go with you to Zaria. Your being transferred from the glitterati of Abuja to Zaria might be a blessing in disguise. We shall take the advantage of the educational institutions to advance our education. Some disappointments could be a blessing.

Today’s Wives: Me I can’t follow you to Zaria-o. God forbid bad thing. From Abuja to Zaria? I can’t cope with such a demotion. To start living in a village. You had better look for another wife. I can’t live in a city without silver birds, Amigo supermarket or Dunes

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5). Yesterday’s Wives: My husband, I have enough clothes. This N30.000 you are giving me, Please, keep it and save for a rainy day.

Today’s Wives: Why are you so stingy? Do you have super glue in your palms? What an insult. What kind of shopping do you want me to do with N50.000? What can I buy? Is it Swiss lace or Dubai gold. I am disappointed in you. Your mates are giving their wives $5000 to shop, here you are humiliating me with Naira. I don’t blame you. It is because I refused to marry Chief Antonio that’s why you are messing up with me-ooo

Yusuf Dankofa is a professor of law in ABU Zaria

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Chila Andrew Aondofa

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